A Life of Remembering
by YoungestCullen8
Summary: Sequel to Captain's Secrets. Sam sits in a prison cell thinking on what he has done. R&R


**Author's Note: **This is the sequel to Captain's Secrets. You asked for it so I decided to deliver.

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Samuel Kirk sat in his holding cell and waited until the guards came for him.

The reason he was in jail was actually something shocking. He had tried to kill his brother. But that wasn't what was the shocking bit.

His brother was Captain James T. Kirk.

When he was arrested word spread like wild fire. Jim refused any comments on the matter. Sam figured it was because he was still dealing with it with the help of his crew. A second thought was Dr. McCoy and Commander Spock filtered all comm calls for the captain that weren't from Starfleet Command.

He wasn't the least bit surprised when Starfleet pressed charges against him. It had been his idea to take out his frustration on his younger brother. It wasn't the smartest idea but it was all he had at the time.

But threatening the crew of the _Enterprise_ hadn't been the smartest. Jim would never let anything happen to his crew, which was why he allowed Sam to do whatever he wanted. When his doctor and first officer found out what he was doing, they had forced his hand. Jim would have allowed it to continue if he would have left the crew alone, but the crew wouldn't.

So he had tried to kill him by injecting Jim with something he was severely allergic to.

He thought he would have been safe at the Consulate but they had given him up immediately. That surprised him more than anything. The Consulate was usually understanding but not in this matter.

Jim going to work really didn't surprise him. The young man was very resourceful and his crew was at his back. He was still going though therapy but he was good as long as he was on the bridge. Last time he had seen him on the news, the captain was limping and using a cane to keep his balance. The doctor was always at his side to keep him on course.

Jealousy ripped through him. Jim had just about everything. Although they weren't blood, the crew was a big family and Jim had treated them as such. As his brother, Sam was blood, but he didn't have the intimacy with his new family as Jim had with the crew. His wife and children backed him but he knew he was a disappointment to them. No wife wants a husband who will kill his own brother.

He kicked a pebble that had been tracked in when the guards had allowed him out to eat and go to the bathroom. This hadn't been his greatest plan, even with his degree. He had been wrapped up in his own anger that he never stopped to think about Jim's when he told them their mother had died. Although Jim didn't have the greatest relationship with her, she was still his mother as well, no matter what Sam thought about him. Now he didn't have his father, his mother or his brother. He was one screwed up man.

The outer door opened and he heard footfalls head his way. He stood with his back to the door, waiting for them to come to him. This was it. This could very possibly be the last time he saw anyone he recognized or lived at all. Sometimes the sentence of murder was death. This could be one of those moments.

His cell door opened. He stood there with his shoulders squared.

"Whatever the sentence, I'm ready to face it," he said dramatically.

"Don't worry. It won't come to that," a very familiar voice said behind him. Sam turned around to see Dr. McCoy facing him, hands in his trench coat pockets. "Hey, Sam."

"Why are you here?"

"Just follow me." McCoy turned away and walked out of the cell.

Sam followed just a little ways behind. What was going on? Today was the day his sentencing went down. Because of his acts, he should be getting sent off planet to a penal colony or worse. What was McCoy doing here and why was he taking him from the prison garrison?

He blinked rapidly when he walked out into the sunshine. It was chilly for a San Francisco afternoon. That just meant winter had set in from the time he was arrested until now.

McCoy was a little ways ahead of him talking to the guards at the gates. Sam finally caught up to him and stood with his head down as the guards sneered at him. Of course they would and it was all because of the way he treated his brother. McCoy jerked him into motion with a hand to his elbow.

They moved outside the gates a little ways then stopped. Sam looked up. In front of him was a blond man with a leather jacket standing beside a taller man with a blue shirt on. McCoy cleared his throat and the other man turned around.

It was Jim. He walked towards them cautiously, Spock at his side.

"Thanks, Bones," he said when he was in ear shot.

McCoy shrugged. "Don't know why you wanted to do this, but I'm happy to help."

"What the hell's going on here?" Sam asked hotly. He was out of the loop and that never happened.

"I had Starfleet drop the charges against you," Jim said. He had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and he was rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Why?"

"Don't you get it?" McCoy asked in annoyance. "It's because you're his brother and the only blood family he has left. If it weren't because of that, I wouldn't have agreed to come get you, but the kid is relentless when he wants something."

Sam looked at Jim. His face was almost impassive except for his eyes. Jim's eyes were always the most expressive part of his body. Anyone could tell what he was feeling or thinking when his face was blank.

Jim was his brother, no matter how he felt about him. He was blood. He was his children's uncle and the one who had saved them when the Romulans had attacked Earth. He owed this man his life and the lives of his family.

The younger Kirk began to turn around. "Go home to your family, Sam, and do me one thing."

He was in shock at the moment so he barely formulated his question. "What is it?"

"I don't ever want to see you again."

"Then why spare me?"

Jim turned around. This time there was pain evident on his face and in his eyes. "You're my brother, Sam. I don't wish to see you dead but I can't forget what you did to me." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, there was resolve hidden in the light blues. "I forgive you, Sam, but I don't ever want to see you again."

Sam looked at Jim as Jim had looked at him when he was beating him to a bloody pulp. He looked at him with shock, confusion, and sadness. He had done this to his baby brother and now he didn't want to see him anymore.

He set his chin and walked towards the street. Before he passed, he stopped and looked at Jim. "Thank you. I'm sorry and I will never darken your life ever again."

As he walked away, Jim nearly collapsed as a sob ripped out of him. Bones grabbed him before he slumped to the ground.

"Come on, Jim," he said. "Let's get back to the ship."

The glow of a transporter took them seconds later.

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Not knowing what to do, Sam knocked on the hotel room he knew his family was staying at. He was still reeling from being saved from his brother.

When the door opened, he was crying.

"Sam?" his wife asked.

"Aurelan," he said as he stepped into her arms. She wrapped her arms around him and brought him into the room. Their sons sat in one corner watched a holo as she ushered him into the master bedroom.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just… did something wrong and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life."

As Sam cried with his wife, Jim was on the ship hiding in Medical with Bones supporting him. Neither one would ever forget what the other one had done for the rest of their lives, especially Sam, who had been saved by his brother when all he'd done was cause harm.

END


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